Wednesday, February 07, 2007

It's 12:19am and I'm surprised I'm not completely passed out after being on my feet all day. Do you ever get this feeling of wanting to write/journal but you don't cos there's too much you haven't written/journal about that you don't know where to start? I think that's how I've been feeling lately. Wanting to blog/journal but not actually writing anything down cos I dunno what to start writing about. Instead, I just read other people's blog over and over again hoping to find some kind of inspiration to get myself to blog about life.

This stage of my life would be called "waiting". Waiting to see what the next few years might look like. Waiting to see which school I'll end up in and when I'll end up going to school. Waiting to see which church we'll end up settling down at and what ministries we'll be involved in. Waiting to discover what it might take to be ready for a family and when it's ever a good time to have kids.

I realized that since I graduated from college, I haven't had time to really think or reflect about life. I don't ask questions and I don't seek answers. I miss those days. I wanna go back to ponder how life really works and try to figure out what being a Christian looks like. I don't wanna settle for just what I'm being told cos sometimes what I'm told doesn't make sense to me.

The other day I was looking back at pictures. I love pictures. They truly capture memories. I might not be able to bring back the past... but pictures are the next best thing.
Some memories really are priceless... so are friendships. It's not everyday you find friends that would drive fancy cars but have no problem eating seafood off a tray . Good memories of traveling to a city

without knowing where we'd end up or how much fun we'd have in one short weekend.
Sometimes it's those memories you wanna grow old remembering. It's those memories that you can keep talking about when you get together for dinners in your "mid twenties to late twenties."

I never thought I would be able to convince anyone to "just bring your toothbrush, we're leaving for vegas in 4 hours." Spontaneous trips like that are hard to come by.

Memories of playing hide-and-seek in the dark one night cos we were bored and didn't know what else to do. That was the best hide and seek game i've ever played.

Having a girls day out. Fun local adventures to our very own china town.

Memories that I clearly remember even if my husband doesn't think I do

I know things are different now and the past can't be the present... which in some ways is good cos i rather be married than "just friends"... but there's a part of me that resists growing up cos of those

memories of being carefree and living in the moment.
I'm thankful that even though the dynamics of some friendships are different now, some are so much better than before.

This friend of mine above told me once that I should do these kinda reminiscing when i'm old and grey and can't create any more memories... but I think remembering and being thankful for those good memories that were created help me see how much i've grown and puts life in perspective for me.

I'm so thankful for pictures.

I'm so thankful for good friends.

I'm thankful for the past.

But even after all this reminiscing... i realize that i'm more thankful for the present. I wouldn't have been who I am today without my past. It shaped me, molded me, pushed me to be better, stronger and helped me face reality. My present will one day be my past, and I'm sure I'll look back on it then and "remember the good times when..." but until then... I wanna soak in the present and create even more memories, take even more pictures so I can remind myself of... life.

2 comments :

  1. BR@NDY said...

    Fantastic post. The "now" is a present in itself. Great photos.

  2. shoespitter said...

    Hi glow!
    these photos really do give me a sense of how great ur memories must have been
    Hope you're doing well!